I'm having a bit of a crisis

So first, a little bit of a background about myself. I'm a 21 year old male who, at the moment, is questioning their sexual orientation (again). Ever since my first year in high school (2013) I've sort of learned that I'm not quite straight. I felt like I could be attracted to just about anyone, regardless of their gender, and therefore labeled myself as pansexual. But I also got my first girlfriend that same year I began calling myself a pansexual. We dated up until April of this year. After she broke up with me, it took me a few months to recover. Then, around August, I decided to try and find someone new to date. I installed Tinder because my parents wouldn't shut up about it and began making an account and when it asked me who I was interested in, I instinctively chose the "everyone" option. But as the next few weeks passed with me checking the app almost daily, I found that the only people I was swiping right for (the people I WAS interested in) were exclusively female. What happened to me being attracted to almost anyone, regardless of their gender? Why was I suddenly only choosing women? It made me begin to doubt myself. And it didn't help that after 7 years of considering myself a pansexual, I had 1. not come out to my parents yet and 2. I had only been in a single relationship, that being a straight one at that. Maybe a reason I wasn't swiping right on anyone else was because I was scared of what my family would think? Maybe I'm only attracted to anyone ROMANTICALLY and not SEXUALLY? This doubt grew more and more as time passed, and eventually I just gave up on Tinder and deleted it. It wasn't like anyone was matching with me anyways... It's now been about a month since I deleted the app and now I'm just kind of trying to reflect on who I really am. What the hell am I? I just get so jealous seeing couples together or hearing friends and coworkers talking about their significant other but I feel like before I can find who my other half is, I have to figure out who I am.

Submitted October 07, 2020 at 08:47PM by spoopy_intensifies https://ift.tt/3jG3kOD