🅱️en Shapiro 🧠 would 🤔 like ❤️🤞to 2️⃣ order 📲 🅰️🅱️izza🍕

Hello 👋, is this 🤔 Pizza 🍕 Hut 🏚️?

⭐Excellent.⭐ My🤴 name 🏷️ is 🅱️en 🖊️Shapiro 🍣🥚. Conservative 😤 thought 💭 leader 👨‍✈️. Prominent 💪 white 🔝 YouTuber ▶️. The ⭐Muggsy Bogues⭐👨 of the intellectual 🤯🧠 dark 🌚 Web 🌐🕷️🕸️. And➕—look 👀, it’s just 👨‍⚖️⚖️ a fact 🧠📠—I 👁️ would like 💞😍 to order 📲 some ➕ 🍕 pizza 🍕 pie 🍕. If you 👉👶 are 🤣🤣🤣‼️‼️‼️ triggered ‼️‼️‼️🤣🤣🤣 by that request 🗣️, I do not care 🤪🙃. I truly do not. 🤣

Now ⌛ let’s 👫 discuss 🗣️👄 conditions 👱‍♀️.

First 1️⃣, thank you 🙏 for agreeing 🤝 to debate 🔫 me 🤴. Typically 👩‍🎤, in fora 🧠📓 such as this 🙄, I 🤴 am met 👋 with 🤝 ad-hominem 😭😔 mudslinging 💩💩💩, anything 🔁 from “You 👉 racist ⚡⚡ creep 🙊” or “Is that 👉🙊 your 👉🤴 real 🤥 voice 🗣️?” to raucous 🔊 schoolyard 🏫👩‍🏫 laughter 😆🤣 and threats 😡🤬 of the dreaded 😓😢😖 “toilet 🚽 swirly 🌀🍥.” However 😏, your willingness 💪 to engage 👤💍👨 with me 🤴 over 🙆‍♂️ the phone ☎️📞📱📲 on the subject 📓📔 of pizza 🍕 shows 🎉🎊 an intellectual 🧠🤓 fortitude 🏯💪 and openness 👐📖 to dangerous ⚠️☢️ ideas 🧠💬💭 which reflects 🔎👁️ highly 🔝🖐️☝️🆙 on your 👉 character 👤. Huzzah 👐, 🎩 good sir 🧐. Huzzah 👐.

Second 2️⃣, any 🔁 pizza 🍕 I 👁️🤴 order 📲 will 📝 be 🐝 male♂️👨🚹. None ⛔🙅‍♂️🚫 of this 🙄 “Our ⚒️ pizza 🍕 identifies 🔎👁️ as 🌈🏳️‍🌈trans-fluid-pan-poly🏳️‍🌈🌈”—no🙄🚫. Pizza 🍕 is a boy 🚹♂️. With a penis 🍆🌽♂️. It’s that simple ↗️⏺️👌💫. It’s been true 📠🧠 for all 🔁 of human 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 history 📜📙, from Plato 🏛️🇬🇷 to Socrates 🏛️🇬🇷⚽ to ⭐Mr. Mistoffelees⭐, and any 🔁 attempt 📄🗒️📒 to rewrite 📝✏️✒️🖋️ the pillars 🏛️ of Western 🤠↩️ thought 🧠💭 will 📜 be met 🤝 with a hearty ♥️❤️💟🖤 “Fuh! 🤣🙄” by 👉yours truly👉. And➕, trust me 📜❤️, that is not 🙅⛔🚫 a fate 🌌 you 👉 wish 🤞🌠 to meet 🤝.

Now ⌛. With regard 🤔❤️ to my 🤴 topping 🔝😉 preference👍🙋. I 👁️🤴 have eaten 🍴🍝 from 👉your👉 🏠🍕pizzeria🍕🏠 in times⏳🌃 past 📰, and it must ‼️‼️‼️ be said 🗣️: your 👉 pepperoni 🌶️🌭 is embarrassingly 😳 spicy 🌶️🔥. Frankly 🤥, it boggles 🤯 the mind 🧠. I mean 🤔, what kind ⌨️🗃️ of drugs 💊 are you 👉 inhaling 🌬️ over there 🌏? Pot 🍯☘️🌿?! One 1️⃣ bite 👄 of that stuff 💭 and I had ‼️ to take 🤲 a shower 🚿🛁. So tread 🚗⚙️ lightly 💡🔦 when ⌛ it comes 💦💦 to spice 🌶️🔥, my good 👍 man 👨. You 👉 do not ⛔🚫 want 🤞 to see 🔎👀 me 🤴 at my 🤴 most 🔝 epic 💫✨. Like 💞 the great 💫 white 🔝 hero 💪👨‍✈️ of ⭐Zack Snyder⭐’s classic 📰🗞️ film 🎞️🎬🎫 “300 💯💯💯,” I will 📜 kick 👣👟 you 👉.

Onions 🌰, peppers 🌶️—no 🚫⛔, thank you👍. If I 🤴 wanted 🤞 veggies 🌽🥕🍆🍅🥒🥔, I’d 🤴 go 🚶 to a salad 🥗 bar 💈♠️. I’m 🤴 not ⛔🚫 some sort 🗃️🗂️ of vegan 🥗🐄🤢🤢🤢, Cory 🅱️ooker 📕 weirdo 🤪. And your 👉 efforts 💪 to Michelle O🅱️ama-ize 👩👩‍🌾 the great 💪⭐ American 🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷 🍕 pizza 🍕 pie 🍕 are, frankly 🤥, hilarious 🤣. Though 🤔 not 🚫 as funny 🤣😂 as the ⭐ impressively ⭐ named ⭐ P’Zone ⭐—when ⌛ I 🤴 finally ❗ figured 🧠 out that 🚫🤥genuinely🤥🚫 creative 🎨👨‍🎨🖌️ pun 🤪, I laughed 🤣😭😂 until I cried🤣🤣🤣 and peed 😳🚽. A true 🧠 Spartan 💂 admits 😔 defeat 😔, and I 🤴 must ❗ admit that, in this ⌛ instance ⌛, your Hut 🏚️ humor 🧠 slayed 🗡️ me 🤴, Dennis Miller style 👒.

And, with 🤝 that, you 👉 have earned 💲 my order 📲📱. Congratulations 🎓. Ahem 😘. Without ⛔ further ➕ ado 🤪, I 👁️🤴 would like ♥️🤞 your 👉 smallest ▪️ child 👦👧👶 pizza 🍕, no ⛔ sauce🛸, extra ➕ cheese 🧀.

Hello 👋? Aha 🤣. A hang-up ☎️📞. Another ➕🤣🤪🙄 🤣🤣🤣‼️‼️‼️ triggered ‼️‼️‼️🤣🤣🤣 lib 🙃, bested 💁🔝 by logic 🧠🤯.

Damn it 😔. I'm fucking 👉👌 starving 😋😔.

Submitted January 14, 2020 at 03:40PM by BobRoss403 https://ift.tt/36VDi3t