Hey there, so this is going to be a pretty weird post and I'll try not to go off on tangents. Also, this is a throwaway since some of my family knows my main account.
So basically, over the past 2 years I've really figured out a lot of stuff about myself. There was always this hypothetical I always went through in my head where if I met the perfect person for me but they were my gender, would I date them? And even though I always said yes, I remained firm that I was straight. Then I realized I was bi, but then not really because I actually figured out I was Pan. I kind of kept denying that I was Pan because "well, I don't like guys." Turns out I did like guys. "Well, only feminine looking guys." Then I watched a video of one of my favorite bands and I couldn't stop thinking about how the masculine drummer was beautiful. Anyway, long story short, I've finally accepted that I'm Pan. And no one in my family knows, but I don't know that it's important that they do know.
It's not a matter of them being unsupportive, I know they won't treat me any differently. It's actually been a running joke that my Mom thinks I'm gay. She will say things like "When you bring home a girl...or guy, I don't judge." It sounds weird, but it's all in good fun. I just don't know that it's important. I'm still mostly into girls, but if I ever introduced them to a guy I was dating, I don't want it to be completely out of left field. Every time I gain the courage to do it, I talk myself out of it.
This was a little longer than I wanted but, has anyone else thought about it like this or am I just being paranoid?
Submitted January 18, 2020 at 08:19PM by thrwawyfr21 https://ift.tt/2NzQinJ
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