i think i finally understand my identity!

so i’ve gone through a big identity crisis over quarantine but i think i finally understand myself! for reference, i’ve always identified as cisgender and heterosexual...both of those are definitely NOT me.

so ever since 5th grade, I’ve been attracted to girls. but i come from a very homophobic and catholic household so i tricked myself into believing i was straight. even though i was delusional, i thought about my sexuality daily for years.

about a year ago, i discovered the term demisexual. i knew it described me perfectly, so i identified myself as heteromantic demisexual for quite sometime (though i never told anyone else).

regardless, i knew i was suppressing my attraction to girls...

finally...i decided to accept myself as a biromantic demiheterosexual woman.

well that didn’t last long, and soon i became a biromantic demisexual woman with a heavy preference for men.

and not long after that i discovered i had no preference.

and then i discovered pansexuality...

attraction to all genders regardless of gender...that’s me!

and so i called myself a panromantic demisexual for about 2 months, and even came out to a lot of people!

...and that’s when my gender identity came in.

i’ve never felt like a girl. i hated being called feminine. i hated my voice and wished it were deeper. and i absolutely despised my very traditionally feminine name.

then i started thinking...maybe i’m transgender?? i felt that way for awhile, but eventually realized i’m not. i don’t have dysphoria and i’m fine appearing more feminine...it was more about what i felt like on the inside.

so i called myself agender for a little bit considering i absolutely hated gender (and still kinda do) but it just never felt fully right.

so i called myself non-binary...it was close, but not quite right...

then i discovered the term demigirl...perfect

i use she/they pronouns and i’m fine being referred to as a girl or enby...though in reality, i’m in between the two!

and then i started thinking...maybe i’m a lesbian afterall.

i’ve never looked at pornography and still don’t. nothing against it, but i’m demisexual so...no thanks

but i came to the conclusion that i gotta know what a pp looks like...

and i no like

i still don’t feel aroused by any means of pornography...but i’m kinda...repulsed by male genitalia...

but i’ve definitely had feelings for men!

very confusing...

but guess what?? romantic attraction and sexual attraction are connected but different!

but i’d be intimate with a trans man who hasn’t had bottom surgery, or an AFAB enby, or someone whose intersex...

as long as they ain’t gotta 🍆 then i’m totally fine

so i’m sexually attracted to some but not all genders...sooo polysexual!

so now i finally know who i am...

there’s a lot of micro-labels involved, but i think this is how i feel...

i am a panromantic demipolysexual demigirl!

and i’m proud to be me!!

Submitted November 02, 2020 at 06:16PM by that-foreman-kid https://ift.tt/34OAbvx