It may sound a bit silly, a bit stereotypical, but I just feel like sharing.
Since I've embraced the fact that someone's sex or gender didn't affect how I could think about them romantically or sexually, I feel like my perception of others has changed quite a bit. Now that I'm that much more "in sync" with my identity, I feel much more free to open up about myself and share my experiences with the people I know will take it well.
This new way of opening up has had a few consequences in how my relationships start and evolve. As I am now more prone to share my feelings and talk about heartfelt, serious, sometimes sad or intimate things, I've noticed that people were then more ready to open up about their own struggles, past experiences, love stories... It feels like taking the conversation to a different level all at once, and in the end everyone walks away more open-minded to each other, more trusting, with a feeling of having been understood.
Sometimes I'm amazed, thinking I would probably never reached a point where I really felt that much like myself had I been straight or tried to reject my identity. Wearing a mask everyday, no matter how big or small whatever it's hiding is, it's just exhausting and all the energy you invest into your facade can't be spent just being there.
I've never had any problems during my coming out or feared displaying my orientation, but the feeling of not being myself openly has followed me around for quite a while before I even knew I wasn't straight myself. The realization engaged a process of self-discovery and my personality just... kinda changed along with it. It sounds cheesy, but being yourself feels really good, and people who feel good with themselves can do more and better.
What I didn't understand before all that was the fact that even if your parents and friends are receptive and accepting, even if your country is very open to different orientations, coming to terms with yourself is a long process, sometimes painful. However, I've also confirmed what so many queer people say when it comes to coming out: even if it's difficult, even of people turn against you, it'll be painful for a while but in the end it'll be worth it.
All in all, I now find myself surrounded by people I adore, with better relationships than I had ever experienced in all kinds of ways and a loving boyfriend with whom I can talk about literally everything and whom I would trust with my life.
TL;DR:
Being pansexual and progressively embracing my personality has helped me build a version of myself truer to me, but also improve all my relationships and make my interactions more significant. It was a journey of self-understanding, and understanding myself now helps me understand others.
There it is, my little story that may inspire a few and maybe help you through a tough time, or maybe even me if I ever need to remember who I am and how I got there. Wish you guys all the best ♥️
Submitted February 25, 2020 at 04:27PM by JollyGee333 https://ift.tt/2uyW6ri
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