i’m a 16 y/o cis female n have been identifying as just pansexual for about 3 or so years now. throughout middle school (so ages 10-13) i knew i wasn’t exactly “straight” so i identified as bisexual. i only just discovered the term pansexual in freshman year n felt that was what i identifies with the MOST. or at least at that time...
then, i found anyone regardless of gender identity sexual AND romantically attractive. now, i would say i find anyone regardless of gender sexually attractive BUT only males romantically attractive. when i say “anyone regardless of gender identity” i mean like male, female, agender, gender-fluid, non-binary, etc it doesn’t rly matter to me. i include trans men (ftm) same i do cis men n trans women (mtf) same as cis women. i don’t differentiate them from cisgenders. i don’t think genitalia rly matters to me much (but i’m still a virgin, so could that be why?)
i’ve always thought that i just had a preference towards men in a sexual n romantic relationship but i’m just now discovering the term “pansexual heteroromantic” n i also think that could be fitting for me. i just don’t see myself in a relationship with a women. anyone else, sure, but not rly a girl... maybe once in a blue moon... i just don’t think i’d care as much being in a relationship with a girl n wouldn’t be able to treat them properly as a s/o.
(i had a cis gf last year n experienced exactly that. she was so sweet n i loved her! but not in a romantic way rly more as a friend... we would talk sexually n that would be okay... just not rly the romantic stuff. i broke up with her twice, however i eventually broke up with her officially bc if the way i felt n believed she deserved better... but i still felt extremely bad after... the reason i went back after the first breakup was bc i missed the sexual stuff n felt bad for breaking up with her, which yes i know was very VERY sh*tty of me n i still regret that...)
i notice i’m mostly fine being in a relationship with boys (sexually n romantically) n i mostly fine them sexually n romantically attractive. i’ve never been in a relationship (romantic nor sexual) with someone of a different gender than M or F but i have found them sexually attractive. i only find women sexually attractive. also i don’t think this is a case of internalized homophobia bc i’d be totally fine if i were attracted to women the same as men, but that’s just not true for me... what does this mean for me n my sexuality???
i know i’m still young n learning n i have a longgg time to come to a definite understanding/declaration of my sexuality but some help would be nice n rly appreciated!! i just feel bad when i use the term “pansexual” n girls approach me, just for me to tell them i’m not interested in a romantic relationship with them...
any help or advice, suggestions or comments are welcome!! :) <3
TL;DR: i’m 16 CIS F n have identified as pansexual for years now. i always thought i had a romantic n sexual preference towards males. i only find females sexually attractive n wouldn’t rly want a romantic relationship with them. i’m now discovering the term “pansexual heteroromantic”... could that be what i am?
Submitted March 27, 2020 at 10:47PM by raspbwrrryyeonjun https://ift.tt/2QT2tNU
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