The trainwreck way I figured out I was Pan and came out all at once.

So I grew up the middle child in a fairly accepting family, not really racist, sexist, homophobic or religiously hateful. We were encouraged to be ourselves, leading my brother to worship aliens, my sister to be atheist and I to be pagan. My brother's straight and happily raising a family with his wife. My sister's bi and currently building a family with her boyfriend. I truly thought I was straight for the longest time. I seemed to be afraid or ashamed to be attracted to more than just men with no real idea as to why. It stayed that way until only recently. In fact I was twenty three and two weeks away from marrying my best friend when I figured out that I wasn't straight. I'm twenty five now. I figured it out while doing a practice run for my hair for the wedding. I was at a friend's salon just talking when we got on the topic of sexuality. She almost choked laughing so hard when I said I was straight. When I asked why she said she saw me checking out literally everyone and anyone I remotely vibed well with and somehow I still thought I was straight. I told her I didn't really understand the different sexualities and she told me to describe the people I was attracted to in my own words. I said I can love anyone if I can vibe well with them, I dont care what their gender is, I'd make it work. I told her there wasnt much I didnt find attractive in people. She laughed and told me I was most likely pan. I went home and talked to my husband about it. He said he didn't care what I deemed my sexuality so long as I stayed with him. Since then, with permission of my husband, I've had my first and second female kisses and have formed a nonsexual relationship with an asexual friend. My husband, as it turns out, just claims sex is sex, gender doesn't matter if it feels good and has chosen to find it appealing rather than threatening for me to be attacked to everyone. He was in fact the one who suggested I try to find a girlfriend who would agree to a no sex relationship. And thus is the story about how I found out I was pan and came out two weeks before my wedding. Also a summary of how I found out I could be happy in a common monogamous marriage and in a less common polyamorous relationship.

Submitted April 06, 2020 at 11:09PM by undeadpixie94 https://ift.tt/2UOMgfa