I 👁 hate 😡 shitty 💩 band-aid code 🚱

Yup 🙏. That's ✔ me.

I 👁 hate 😡 shitty 💩 band-aid code 🚱. I 👥 love ❤ perfection 💯.

I'm 💘 Michelangelo - but 🤔 that by definition 📐 makes 🖕 me a loner 🚶🏾‍♂️. I 💦👁 love ❤💗💓 staring 👀 at my code 💻 and contemplate 🤔 on 🔛 it's beauty 💅 just like 💖 the result 💹 of the code 💻 working 🏢.

I'm 💘 perfect 👌 at one-man projects 👷.

I 👁 hate 😡 processes 🏭, standups, scrums 👅 and all 💯 that team 🐒 playing 🎮 bullshit 💩.

I 👁 love 💑❤💘 customers 💩🙋 and bosses 🕴 who are trusting 🇺🇸 and freedom 🙌 giving 👉.

I 👁 love 😍 beers 🍻, steaks 🥩, good 👌 food 🐟💒👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 and team 👥 gatherings 🚜 - and i 👁 love 😍 people 👫 whom i 👥 am "working 🏢" with - but 🍑 everyone 👥 knows 🤔 i 👁 am working 😩😫💪 on 🔛 something 😅 that is NOT "let 👫 get 🔟 this shit 💩 done ✅ quickly 🏃 and push 😂 this out of the door 🚪 by next ➡👶 friday 🎅🏿". That's 😦 not me.

Although 😛 I'm 💘 the one 1️⃣ my boss 🕴👴💵 comes 💦 to with "i 👀💇👁 don't ❌ know 👌🙏🤔 how but 🍑 can you 👈 do something 😅 about it tomorrow 🚗🍆🐱"? I'm 💘 good 👍 and super 🦸 sharp 🔪 focusing 🧐 and delivering on 🔛 my own. If i 👥 need 👉 help 💁 - I'll 📝 ask 🙏.

I'm 💘 all 💯 for skunkworks.

I 🕵👁 debug my code 💻 myself, using ✍🏻 techniques 🥋🤹 i 👁👀 polished myself over 🔁 the years 📅 and I'll 🤫 end 🔚 up ⬆👆 with lightbulb that will last 😍 100 😆😂😅 yrs 🗓. Not the one 😤 that cost 💸💵💴 $3 ⭕ℹ🕘 and requires 📜 full 🈵 replacement 😰😞 after 👀 3.5 👵 weeks 📅 of light 💡 usage 🏻.

I 👁 try 😈 not to buy 💸 stuff 👉👌💦 made 👉 in China 🇨🇳. I 👁 love ❤ stuff 👌 made 👉 in Europe 😱😖 or Japan 🇯🇵.

So, don't 🙅‍♂️🚫 push 😂 guys 👨 like 👍 me into your 👉 "processes 🏭" and "change 🚼 managements 👨‍💼" wasting 🗑 pipeline 🌊 bullshit 💩.

I 👁 won't 🚫 fit 👕.

I 👥 speak 🙊 at conferences 💦. I 👁 do evil 😈 harmless 👇😜 things 📴. I 👁 violate 👿👎 countless 💯 stupid 💩🚫➡ compliance 😁 rules 👑📏💯. I 👁 take 💅 risks 😐 no 😣 one 1️⃣ knows 🤔 about. I 👁 don't 💥❌🚫 follow 🔜 rules 👑, and pretty 👸 much 🔥 skip 🐧 reading 📖📒 them when ⏰ i 👁 can.

I 👁 do my best 👌 to deliver 🚚 masterpieces 🤩. One 😤 piece 🧩 at a time ⏰.

Downvote ⬇ me.

Submitted August 12, 2020 at 05:42PM by PUBLIQclopAccountant https://ift.tt/3iBq9C6