i came out back in middle school as a bisexual girl and at the time i thought the title was for me. but then a little later i found out i was non-binary and actually pansexual, and for a while that was fitting.
but recently i’ve noticed that dating men isn’t something that i’m very interested in. yea sure i was boy crazy at one point in time and i thought about kissing them, but that was when i was like 11. i had always had strong feelings for girls but i always repressed it bc of my homophobic household. once i came out as bi in middle school, i still dated boys bc my dating pool for girls was small.
even then i could never quite picture my future with a man. i tried it but it was always temporary and i always saw myself single. then there’s the whole situation with girls. i’ve only dated one girl my whole life so far and she was super bad to me. kinda left a sour taste in my mouth and i haven’t rlly dated another girl since her i guess.
i was also sexually abused for five years by a man so the idea of sex rlly bores me heavily. i’m not sure if it’s bc i’m sexually repressed but it kinda feels like my whole life i’ve been bored with the idea of sex, me being a virgin of course. it kinda grosses me out and i’m not very interested in it. i can only see myself having sex with someone i’ve been with for years.
summing it all up, i like girls and i wouldn’t mind being w them sexually and romantically, i also like(?) guys but i can’t see myself w them romantically or sexually anymore. i only kinda just think they’re pretty but i don’t rlly want much to do w them. enbys and anyone else in between, i’d be totally down to date. i’m not sure what any of this means, i guess i was just kinda venting. if u have an advices ur more than welcome to leave them pls!
Submitted August 24, 2020 at 07:28PM by intlbf https://ift.tt/3j8xxFa
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