Anti 🔫🔫 SJW has 👌 a go at 🤣🍆 stand 🚏 up 👭👋

Hey guys, 👬👱 my 👈😀 name is 🔥 Ben, and 👏➕ I’m an ➕🅰 attack ⚔ helicopter.” The crowd 🤢 is silent, 🤐 watching 👀 him 💍😨 with 👀 a 🗣 mix of caution 🤔 and 👏 sympathy. A few 😋😋 people 🤶👦 cover 💦💦 their 👈 eyes to avoid the 🏼 trainwreck 💀 that ➡ they can 😡 already see 👀👀 unfolding in 🔱👠 front of 💦 them. 👊 Ben’s hands 🙊 start to sweat. 😰😫 B-but 🅰 badsjw retweeted my post! 📜🖕 They 👩 tagged it 🤷😳 as ‘lmao’! 🐸 How 🅱🏻 can 🔫 these guys not 🅰 find 🔍 it funny? 😂😀 he 🅱 thought 💭🙆 to 💦💦 himself. ❌🤔 Then, 🔜 he improvised; Going 🚕 off script, he ♂👉 started 👏💢 setting 🌃 the scene. 🤝 “I 🅱 mean 😏👔 like, tumblr, ‼ yeah? 🙌 They 🙋❤ got 😂🏻 kids 👼 on there who... 😂😂 they’re 💏😂 kids 👧 and 💦 they’re ♂🏾 like, ♂😄 ykno, angels. I 💰👀 mean, 😠 they 👲 think 🤔🤔 they’re angels”. A 👌 woman in ⬅👌 the ♀ front 🔝 is 💦💦 texting 📲📲 her 😞👸 friend 😜🙉 to come 💦💧 pick her 😍😍 up as soon as possible. 🔝 “They’re 👴 all ‘oh 🙈 I’m 🌈👁 an 😮😯 angel! 👼 My ⌛🏿 pronouns 🏻 are 😎 angel 👼👼 / angels / angelself” There’s 😍 a 💰➡ visible recoil in 💯 some 💯🍆 of 💦 the 🏻🦉 audience members 👦 when ⏰ they 🏾👉 hear him say backslash out loud. The 😩 woman 💁👩 has 👩 silently 📳 crept out 🏍⬆ of her 🙀♀ seat 🚽 and is making 💰 her 👸👗 way 🏼⬇ towards ⛪ the 🌊 side ⏩ entrance. She 🍆🍆 ducks so 👅 as 👦🍑 to not 🙅 block the 🐄 view 👀👀 of 😂 the 💨 people 👉 sitting ♿🙇 beside her, 👧💁 though 🤔 they would 👉 have 💢 rather ☑ avoided seeing 👀👀 what was 🔝🏻 transpiring on 😳🔛 stage. 🏁 Ben sees 🙄👁 an 🏻😅 opportunity. 📊 If 👏✈ there’s 💦🏿 one thing he’d 🏋 come prepared for, 🔯😏 it 😢💯 was 👏👍 hecklers. While 🤔🏻 everyone else 👏 had stayed 😔😔 quiet 😡 for 🎅 some 👳💦 reason, 😰🌟 unexpected for 🎁🖋 a university campus, this 💀👈 woman was 👍🅰 trying 😼😔 to 💦 slink away. 🏃 He 👨 would 🌲👪 not 💉🚫 let 🙋 some 💵 FEMALE escape ♐ his 🅱 grip. “Are 🚟🏻 you triggered? You, in 👏👏 the 💰 side.. ⏩♀ are you triggered? Did 🙀🙀 I 🏻👈 trigger 😠🔫 you?” The 👏🤛 woman 🏻 stops ✋ in her 💦😅 tracks and 👏 throws a 🎁👴 glance 👓👓 back. ⬅ He’s pointing. Nobody’s ❌ staring 👀 at her, 👧 they’re 👨❌ all 💯 sitting 💁 in stunned 😨 silence. 🔇🎧 At least 👌 it 💋🔜 was 🤣 free entry she ♀ murmured to 👊 herself as she pulled the 💞💰 handle on 🤖🔛 the 👩🌫 door and dashed out. 😬 “Trigglypuffs, am I 🕴👧 right? 🎃 SJWs can’t take ✋✋ logic.” 👌 Ben quips before 🈳 he starts throwing 🚮😤 his hands around, shouting something 👈 indistinct to the 👧 audience because the microphone was 👏 away 🏃 from his 💦🦊 face. ☹👴 The 👧😍 audience enjoyed the 🐗 silence. 🎧 With 👏 the 🅱 audience still 😻🚸 silent, Ben had to 💦💦 pull out 🏿 the 👏 big 😍🍆 guns. 🔫🔫 “So, 💯 I 👁👁 saw someone ♀ drop 🏻🏿 this 📉 kitkat on 🔛🔛 the ground, 😭⛳ on the... 🏳👶 in central ⬅⬅ park 🏞🏞 the other 😂👳 day. I 🕴 picked it ❌ up and 👏 ate 👅👅 it 🅱 because, ✡♋ hey, hashtag candy lives matter” 😡 An ➕🍆 audible gag was heard from 👉👉 the 👏 back of 🔴 the 👈 room, though the 👏🙀 rest 🚔😧 of 💦 the crowd 🤢🤢 wasnt sure 👍 if it was 👏 because of the 😱☝ thought of this 😈😷 trembling 🤕🤕 puddle of 😤💦 sweat 😰 eating a 👀🅰 kitkat off ❎ the floor or from 😂🤤 them 😻 physically saying ‘hashtag’ like 👍👌 they 👧 were ⏬ a 🏾👌 40 year 📆😣 old 😫 newsreader. This 👉🔥 is 😲 it Ben thought. I’ve cracked the perfect joke. It’s 😠😝 topical! This will go 🚦👉 viral and 🏽👏 steven-universe-official and 👏👆 plebcomics will 📃 finally 🙏 follow 👣👣 me back! 😷⬅ I can 💦 see 👀 the 🚗🖥 copypasta 🍝 now. 😥 “You 👈👆 fucking suck 😜💦 dude.” 😂👨 Ben’s daydream about 💦💦 KotakuInAction rallying behind 😍 him 👴🏼 is dashed as 💎 he 🏠 hears 👂👂 the cry from 👉 the left ⬅ aisle. It 🌧 was 😰 then 🕛 that 😐👶 he realised he’d been 💫📽 daydreaming for 🎁👻 5 😂 minutes, ⏱🕰 most everyone 👦 had 🍑 left, and 😫💰 he’d 👏👨 pissed 😥😥 his ⌚👏 pants. 👖😏 As 🕘🍑 the 🦏 warmth fell down 👅⬇ his 👣 leg, 👖👖 all 😏💯 he 🎅👨 could see 👁👌 in his mind 👌👍 was 👏 the 🕘🙀 angry post 👏 he was 👏 going 🏃 to write up on 👇🔛 his 🤔🏻 own 😎 twitter ‼‼ tonight, about 🤖 how 😦 university 🏫🏫 campuses are 💯 simply hug boxes, not accepting of ☠💦 REAL 😤💦 humour anymore. 🅱

Submitted September 29, 2020 at 02:37AM by TomLangford https://ift.tt/347vxav